Self's The Man

This poem is about Larkins self doubt and about him being selfish due to him being single. Larkin expresses his view through his friend 'Arnold' who is married with children .

Marrige:
Larkins view on marrige in this poem is quite negetive he describes a marrige as claustrophobic with the idea the partner is 'there all day' and you cant escape. Therefore you need to be careful for what you wish for as it may become bad. Larkins puts some speech in italics such as 'Put a screw in this wall'  this may imply its an order and a nagging from the wife. Larkin has a cynical vew on marrige as he uses the word 'van' which could imply that marrige can drive you insane and therefore you should leave before this happens.
 Women:
The way women are presented in this peice is again very negetive. He portrays them as needy and selfish as while he is working his partner is spending money however the money may be used for the children rather than herself. Larkin uses sterotypical views in this poem as he way he describes how he invites her to 'come for the summer' shows a typical in-law relationship many of the audience can relate too.
Conclusion:
The conclusion at the end of the poem is very unexpected. Larkin implys afterall him and Arnold are similar as they are both selfish. Arnold's marrige was 'for his own sake', to stop his wife leaving. However only difference between them is that Larkin know's where he stand in a marrige and what he can/can't put up with, which is partly the reason he is still single.

"He married a woman to stop her getting away
Now she's there all day,"                      
                                "He has no time at all"

              "And that letter to her mother"                       "He still did it for his own sake"
 

"So he and I are the same"             

 

"Only I'm a better hand
At knowing what I can stand"